Thank God, I am an Atheist

Hey God sitting up there,
Do you see them throw those grenades around?
Beat women and kill the innocents in your name
While burning them to the ground?

And do you see the avengers,
Flying their hi-tech drones and missiles?
They kill everyone who look up to pray
I can't say whose faith is more fragile!


You must be feeling so important right,
That you have so many names in their prayers?
Everyone's fighting that they have called it right
And their's is the one which you'd love to hear

I never see you, the God, stepping down
To end this all, to defend your own
Sadistic you are, to ask them bear the pain
In your versions, so many and all so cold!

They say I am unlucky to not find you
To see all your grandeur in your paradise
I try to reason, but then I understand
I can't fight millennial old historical lies

May be I am not pious enough to murder for your glory
Or, holy enough dig mines to defend you!
Thank God, I am an Atheist,
Because, I no longer believe in you

All lies

With my headphones on
I give liberty to my eyes
Wander off to that dream
Before others realise

And I put on those glasses
When its dark in my world
I hide my thought, no you can not read
And my vision is blurred

Tears are my shower
I am washing off that devil's grip
I am letting go of that perfume
That smeared when I stripped

I so gave away happily
When the devil asked for my soul
And wandered off on my wilderness
Believing in my howls

How could I just forget
I am no wolf to cry
Fangs in me are unnatural
And he drained my heart dry

So I put back my hoods on
Just a curve pasted on my lips
But the blood is still curdling inside
And snares are just digging deep

I walk back to the reality
Before others realise
Shut back my dream, shove down my wishes
All lies, damn beautiful lies!

Growth

Like a breath for life
Like the droplets off the sky
Like giggles off the lips
Like little swaying of her hips

Like smile breaking to laughter
Like woman growing into mother
Like breeze singing with the leaves
Like thoughts travelling very deep

Like cloth sewing into frock
Like dreams growing into work
Like crawls moving to the walks
Like babbling adding into talks

Like me growing into me
Like realising beyond what i see
Like seconds put meaning to time
Like your feelings voicing the mime

Like that step just before the flight
Like squinting before facing the light
Like me knowing its ok to fail
Like anchoring a wild and merry sail

It is all growth i reckon
It is the Time all the time you learn
It is learning to face the candles
Just before you face the sun!

Expressions

Unspoken, expressed yet hidden
To be searched, researched and understood
Without voice to guide and lead your way
To recognize one beneath its hood

Like music, just music in your player
No singer to aid its unbroken flow
Drums and guitars, harp and piano
Singing song of blues, romance and hero

Just sound, just gestures
Just unconveyed yet conveyed feel
Just voice some where hidden amongst
Of emotions, eruption, victory and kneel

Expression that fight to hide
The words that eyes scream as cry

They hide, they sing and blow big

But fail everytime they attempt a lie

The expression, a music of its own
For you to know what they mean
To interpret the song with no words
And to sing with voice that is SEEN

My Umbrella

The gloomy clouds lean over
And the thunder roars its threat
I flap open my umbrella then
My only reliable retreat

Dark and gloomy, moist and wet
Dripping drops of rain overhead
It sways and dances in the wind
Enjoying them as its sweetest mead

Though it tries to wrestle with me now and then
It gives the companionship in that hour
When your wind goes fiery and clouds tend to bleed
And breeze then curdles and turns sour

Oh my umbrella, I tell you that I know
You drenching yourself to keep me dry
When my
clothes abandon their sheer need
You prevent me from desperate cry

You fight with me to wriggle free
The way you flap and overturn
Yet I love you enough and need you much
And keep you firmly when you churn

That is love I guess that we share
I let you out and open your wings
And under the threat of no matter what
You keep me safe and let me sing!!

The lost chance

The theory, the hypothesis
The experiments, the efforts
For small moves
For not betting on small chances

The dreams, the expectations
The preparation, the belief
For decisions on table
For just pre-launches

The investments, the stress
The calculations, the numbers
For the risk of not taking risk
For paying no heed to hunches

The fear for stumbles
The slow downs and speed breakers
To learn to be groovier
Without falling when you dance!

It's too much of preparation, you know
For something so unknown
And too much calulation for risks
For some disasters you're never shown

And then the flights are cancelled
Just because it's too sunny to be true
And the indecisiveness turned into nights
For I stood too long on the fences!!

Now at dusk I see
I missed out the perfect time
Cause, I waited with binoculars at sunshine
Waiting for weather to turn fine!

I realise...I never moved, neither I took the chance
The exploration, the discovery
All were shoved, thrashed and burned
I planned too much for good, and I missed out the fun

The shoes!

Pushed, shoved, slammed
Poked, yelled at, damned
And I am still here
Helpless, wordless, choice-less


I have nothing to hold
No bars, no poles, no stands
And you asking to leave!
Leave what? The pint of shameless life that remains within?

I begged, borrowed and stole
To fill up that bottomless hole
Punctured in my heart
Drilled down into my soul

But then, you ask me to give up
Give up what?
The esteem-less, half hearted attempt to live
I seriously have noting to give, neither up or down!

I cant ask you to wear my shoes
Sole-less due to friction
Rubbed to kiss the ground everyday
and I am what I wear!!

I cry to be forgiven
I beg for a second chance
I kneel down to be heard
I kill my respect for your audience... for  nothing that I have done

And you tell me I am good!
Also that I should look out for better
Tell me my friend will you wear a torn thrown shoes?
Because I am the same!

It's You  who can wear, who can shove
It's You can say 'not wearing it anymore'
But am one who is made to be walked upon
so, I cant walk away on my own!

I get it you know
I am no crown to sit on head
I am no sweater to be hugged upon
But shoes that I am... I kiss thy feet everyday

And feel grateful that you wore
Oh! that pride when you Walk in me!!
Thus I can never go....
Unless you kick and give it a throw

'cause I cant walk away on my own!!
I can't move away on my own!!

Sober when I drink

Under those lousy drowsy lids

A couple of eyes drowned in wine

I see reality of so called life that I live

And degree of un-fine when I say fine

And those hiccups that you hear

Are not too much of drinking act

But smirks coming from within

When I get face to face with the facts

But you say I am so 'cause I am drunk

Just cause I am not the normal me?

Not so composed, posed and straight

But  for once try believing in what you do not see

So trust me on this one please

When I say 'am sober when I drink

Its like unbuttoning the brain's tuxedo

And unhiding what I really think

So, I am sober when I drink

As the reality comes to face off the hope

And saying 'check' to over-inflated optimism

Running strict test on any dope

It bites and injects me with truth

And I would know of any hood wink

So I consciously speak, blurt and sort it out then

I am, as you now know, sober when I drink

(this poem does not promote drinking, it is just the feeling, as per writer, going through when trying to submerge into numbness of being drunk that is being tried to be painted here)

The sin of Within

Balloons of those hopes

Taped at every inch

Thrusted by its own air

Now blowing itself away

And the hammock of expectations

Tied with dozen knots

Now tangled in themselves

Unused, untouched yet swaying

Tsunami of thoughts

The wreckage of patience

Flooding of blames 

Prescribing depression pills

Curdling of fate

Frozen movements 

Pile ups of guilt

Then camping of regrets

Orchestra of  frustrations

Screeching with angry lyrics

Breaking the dam of tolerance

Drowning sanity within

Then those embroidery of dreams

Sewn together anyhow

A quilt of escape route - a fantasy

Battered with rational thinking

The maths of senses 

The physics of heart

Chemistry of harmones

From the theory by few pounds brain

And you say, struggle!!

But how to struggle with what is within

With volcano of the very existence

Burning the very alive, as if it were a sin

An unspeakable, unthinkable sin

In-despicable, unforgivable sin

Emotion!

He learned a new language today
A new tongue to speak

But how will I teach him 

To understand what my heart speaks

He learned to dance a new move

A new step to groove

But how will I teach him

To understand how my heart moves

And a new song that he sings now

Its wonderful for his ears

But how will I teach him

To hear what my heart hears

The new tune in his guitar to play

Making you humm along

But how will I teach him

The chords and tab of my song

You can teach a world to someone

How to talk, sing and dance

But how will I teach someone

Emotions for him to understand

How will I teach him

The promises are to be kept

The words are to be valued

And debts are to be paid

How will I teach him

You cry not to show you are weak

But it takes lot in you to shed tears

And show the extent of the break

Sarcasm is another chapter

And many mockings for him to avoid

Its easy to die physically

Then to live when your soul died

There are few things I can teach him

But how will I teach the sensitivity

To understand how a heart beats

And ensuring its longevity