How I wish......

Swirling in the salty sea,

Surfacing to see the sun

I wish I were a dolphin...

And know the thrill when in run

I would escape the nets that sailor throws,

And would go for the Arctic race

Chase the schools of albacores

And dance at the thunder's pace

Or I can be a sea gull so white

That knocks at my window pane

And soar high with all my might

Fly and fly till I go insane

With wings to spread and legs so strong

Dodging every drop of rain

I will set only with the setting sun,

Thus it takes away my pain

Atleast, I wish I were like you

With legs to run and stalk the moon

Jump till clouds fly and sky turns blue

And have them as my greatest boon

Then, I will go for riding a horse

And gallop till heart says 'no more'

I may fall and hurt but this isn't the worse

Sometimes, sweet are pains and sore

But as I have wheels for legs,

They don't move on their own,

Please run away, my heart it begs

Till you see new day at its dawn

So I stare past my lone window,

dolphins, birds and you sometimes

Who swim, fly and run with such a glow.....

How I wish those legs were mine!!!!!!

Why me?... I ask.........

Why me?.... I ask....
Falling through the rumbles....
My already clueless life...
And that I am alone......
I lost the hand I thought would hold me till I find my way back?
Or.... you say...it abandoned me....
I am lost....but wasn't I before....?
Why me?.... I ask.....

Been this way....? hahaha... I don't exactly remember.....
But I have been the wall where you come... stone and go...
And I stand..... pretending it was muse...
But mind you... I was always alone....
Till the midnight.... till it dawned...
Till the rays of the sun poked my face for fun....
Mocking me...
Torturing me....
Scrapping my wounds deeper...
Why me?..... I ask......

No, my teeth haven't seen daylight for ages....
My lips don't tear apart and curve for smile....
Yet, I can show you.... I stand up every time you trick me to fall...
Gather my self...all the shattered pieces and move...
Yet... yet again I hope...the hands that I helplessly seek for is yours...
hahahahahah.... Why do false hopes haunt me?
Isn't the pain of the  falls enough?
But... god has to experiment....
And I am......nothing but a sample.....
But...why me?.... I ask......

There are men as much as hairs in my head.....
Some....black...some brown.... and some as good as gray...
But....still the pain... pain I bear is for me alone...
Million heads and billion ears
But my words go unheard....
Speeches fail me....
And... my heart beats against the will...
I live though.... I live for it all
And fall doesn't cease.....
But its me who falls.... and you never can realize the pain of landing...
Why just me?.... I ask......

My ears are open indeed....
I hear you cry.... hear you smile...
But your ears... they just hear you alone...
Your pain...
Your laughter.....
And eyes? My eyes betray me... yours are faithful....
I see you and you see yourself.....
But... why my own decided to cheat me against you?
Why me?.....I ask.....

Love you say?
Ya... it hurts....
I am foolish..... to the dust...
Can't help it....
My heart don't have eyes, ears or brain.....
And it beats yet for them.....
So, I can't be wise.... with brains to judge you and get you right...
Like everyone's do.....
But why can't I..?
Why me?.........I ask.....

I am collecting myself now.....
I will stand and move.....
I remember thousand times... I have given hand to warm hands I loved...
Yet... its just my legs that help me out now...
You are not in the picture...
But yes in memories.....
And they haunt.......they haunt me....
till I break... so you can point at me...."YOU ARE WEAK"
Yes, I am.....
But why me?... I ask....

With just you and me.....

 Just two legs to carry me, to accompany this far,
A wounded soul, punctured emotions, all bottled up in a jar
In a journey undecided, but no I am just not so alone
A pending life, with fate undecided....this journey I share

Was it the reason for my loneliness?, I question
Should I let it live, let it feel the pain of rejection?
'cause I know the vastness of the world is not enough to make you feel you belong..........
Or, let it strangle to death? I am yet to take that decision.....

                                   
                                                     Still, greed of the company of these several months
                                                     All unconscious precautions, all dos and all don't s
                                                     My legs carry me out of the place where they could have plucked it out of
                                                     my life                                                                                                                      
                                                     The life is no bed of roses, and I seem to have fallen for thorns

                                                     Am I getting greedy in LOVE? I so doubt
                                                     Am I scared to face alone what life is all about?
                                                     NO! It is my familiarity with the kicks that startle me when sound asleep
                                                     And, then I have become a daydreamer -- I hear it laugh, I hear it shout!

                                                    Waking up from dream scares me, tugs my heart down
                                                    Life, I know is nothing like walking under the smiling sun
                                                    How old am I? Not a day past two decades, yet so lonely and so young
                                                    Still, it came to me, for me to keep....whether its a curse or a boon

                                                    No, I am selfish, it's not for 'you' but for me that I am doing
                                                    I know, either way the oath leads to same path we are heading
                                                    And, I need a company, 'your' tiny steps to teach me walk again
                                                    Little hands to show me to live up the moment as life keeps passing

                                                    I need 'you' more than 'you' need me
                                                    I have seen enough, but still lot more waits for me to see
                                                   Guess, I need some more pair of eyes to realize the beauty life holds
                                                   Ok!!!! Lets think of happy ending, however tough it may be....

                                                   Believe me for last time, please...just for one last time....
                                                   We will hold each others back and we will be happy....
                                                   I already can see us... we smiling, laughing and pulling each other up
                                                   In the world of our own, with just happy us... with just you and me....

(NOTE: this poem refers to an unmarried girl in her early 20ies, who is disowned by family, its her thoughts.... when she goes for abortion but decides to keep the baby...)

As I hold my reflection's gaze

When I look into the mirror, the one staring back is not me
The girl looks like I do, but its you that all I see
The eyes hold up to their own dreams, but life works to seek  that of yours
All I see is stranger in her, not someone I ever want to be

She smiles when you ask for it, but it hurts her tender eyes
Laughters she lets out rings aloud more like suppressed cries
But I don't have zeal to smile these days, nothing I find cheering
So, stranger she gets as I look into her, someone I despise

She never dares to live her dreams, but dwells in fantasies you weave
She neither takes a fulfilling breathe, its a long sigh that she heaves
But in her eyes, I still get the glimpse of someone who resembles my soul
I have lost myself though long ago in the labyrinth of your beliefs

The cage you hold her is so gorgeous tempting all seven deadly sins
But long forgotten her voices are so loud, as in silence they seem to scream
I never find me in her, pains inside suffocate me to death
Its nightmare I am forced to live forgetting what living means

I want to see me in her, as I look into the glass
I want to see a content look as I look upon the staring lass
Someone content to live, to fight and to call her life as her own
Someone to hold the reins of her life and search for herself in the mass

All of this I want, without you anywhere near the stage
Breaking free is all I want, from all your emotionally scarred maze
You cant stop me nor am I going to stop at your plea
I now want to find myself as I hold my reflection's gaze

If I am to smile.........

U seldom speak out your heart or let me see it inside out

And I hardly ask..... just guessing random things sumtimes spring .... sumtimes ghastly draught

I try to see beyond the imperfect walls that u have put urself in....

And how hard I try, all i see is the perfect shape of ur beautiful heart

I havent known u for long...jus few hours of day and many unslept hours of nights

But see yourself once the way i see.....ur are beyound any such miraculous sights!!!

After long waited days and work your hinted emotions put me in...

Lemme tell u one more time.... Dear u r really worth many world engaging fights!!!!

I am stunned at times......how I let myself so unguarded with you

maybe 'coz I feel u know me at times more than I myself do....

I had let u touch the beating heart hidden all this years in the cages of bones...

that I have till now saved from all the sparkling hunters who eyed it as they flew....

All I need is to know if your are a mirage... closer I move...more it fades

Or one to shatter all the hopes... sumone in disguise of mighty Hades....

Still, here is my heart ....at your dispose defying all my rationality

Now its your turn... either prove my trust or else you can have it staked!!!!

It will either for me be too much to rejoice or too much of pain...

But either way I will know if forever I am to smile from heart or smile in pain...

Her Choice............

"Save my soul" , with her full might she screamed

under the pile of freshly fallen concrete...

with mountains of dust rising at large

and gigantic water soaring, and spreading far
"Leave ur soul and lend me thy hand,

I can do only save one at this time...

Its either you or child u hold....

Leave the child...its ur life for u matters more"

This is what the mighty lord of death told...

tempting to save her n laden her with all world's gold

She despised and gave no thought to it...

all mattered more now was life of her kid....

Breaths were heavy and time was short

Two lives hanging just one chance but

tears mingled as she planted departing kiss...

"U see world my child...it will set my heart at bliss"

"Thy soul for whom my tender heart dances...

thy for whom I gladly abandon all my life and such chances....

Save my child .... my soul" , again she screamed

Collapsing forever and saving him!!!

Death stood speechless, saving the child

Never did he imagine this even in the wild

She died saving the child she bore....

No big angry sea or vast land stood as gigantic anymore

Tears even mingled down death's lifeless face

He lost the winning war at unexpected pace

He lost it despite winning it all

Child saved by her gave him greatest fall

He resurrected the lady and handed her the kid

he could have never taken her soul in this bid

'cause even when she died her child survived

her soul would remain in him forever revived

Risen again, she held her tiny one

now even sky smiled with her as it dawned

At last even the mighty ones surrendered to her

as no1 could stand against mom n her love for child she bore!!!!!

America As You Fall

(Note: see the first letter at the beginning of each paragraph… when combined they spell the title – AMERICA AS YOU FALL)

An old man sitting by the tree

With spirit so ancient yet so free

Sings the song of the mighty fall

For the world to learn from story of thee

Mouth-organ humming all his words,

Hunting with his musical swords

He sings ballad of you, the fallen titan

And your failed quest to win the world

Enraged and pompous as you stand

Holding knife hidden in your hand

He sees it all and knows, my dear friend

What you seek by torching the greatest sand (Oil politics in ongoing gulf civil war)

Raven gaze as you hold

On the lands of oils and that of gold

Sacrificing your goats for your sake

From your own weapons that you sold (Weapon deals of US and it charge against

Gulf leaders once considered close to US)

Ice of your heart never melts

Despite dozen shoes thrown at your face

Yet you claim yourself the mighty one

Can’t you see over are your days? (world- wide criticism of USA and shoes thrown at

mighty personality of the states)

Constellation of tusk and red sea of stars

Rise strong for the mighty war

And all you pay for oil is blood,

Leaving half the world with incurable scars? (reference to India and China as emerging

nations)

As you descend down the stairs

Can’t you see how you fall in despair?

Now taste your own poison for love

That all the world for you now bears

All your foes on whom you stepped

Your entire friends burdened by your debt

Together will now pay back your coin

Laden with tears those widows have wept

So sad, you didn’t spare your own

Made stairs for yourself from own child’s bone!

And still they pay for what you do

It’s time to dawn, and your nights would be gone (tax burden for US citizens due to war and

descending economy)

Your weapons as now charge at you

Like frosty morning with poisonous dew

Eating your plants and hands that sowed

Your foes outnumber your friends so few (terrorism, as started by US against Soviet

Union)

Only dust remains in your chest

With emerging tycoons beating your best

See how the old man sings your folly

Hold back the rage now take a rest (crumbling US economy and its debt with other

countries)

Umbrella of yours is tearing up

Exposing you to hail and soaking up

Old man told you then, and with time he pays

You axed yourself and fell from the top

Folly is bad, so is greed you hold

Treacherous your ways killed men so bold

Yet you now lose to your own puppets

Devils you raised now eat your gold (Al-Qaeda was initiated by US against Soviet Union

has wedged war against itself)

All the world laughs at your face

As old man sings with binding grace

Your saga, where you are the Othello

Hero so mighty, yet falling in his own mess!

“Love thy enemy”, is all he taught

For justice and for love that he fought

Smirks at you as passing by

As you turn from so green to pale and drought (land of Dreams to country failing with

unemployment)

‘Last, the old man plays his flute

Singing the song of a heavy loot

Where the robber gets all the riches

Just to die tripping over his golden boot!!!!

Weather of your mood

Battering window panes and misty cloud
With squeaking thunder simply loud
Is the weather that u hold
Of the day when your heart is not so bold

Icy breeze and snarling wind
Roaring big and whirling round
Is the weather at your ground
As if thousand thunders striking around

Pleasant sun smiling at the sky
Cloud with dancing rainbow just passing-by
The way your heart shines on the day
When you are really very happy and gay!!
*note-gay here means happy!

.............just in Vain

Birds off the South in the freezing shivering winter’s cold
Yet warmth of melting North never can forever hold
Stretching wings and spreading wide away it goes
But could never reach beyond the burning ball of gold

A hand can never hide beating heart with rods of bone
‘cause a sided love never is damned with just pains alone
But is accompanied by ever pinching truth of life
Is with blinds to see the floods of feelings eyes have shown

After nights of hopes and that of eyes flooding its drain
Of searching for a touch of love from heart than frm scheming brain
I scratched for hours in vacuum, in the NO MEN’S LAND
….the hand with elixir for my heart to free me from this eternal pain

I wandered for ages just in vain
I searched for ages just in vain

Life a LIFE-TIME opportunity

Simple words usually make sense..........it really does...to me atleast!!!! May be it haven't worked that way for you but it is working on me, that too beautifully. Dream has been something that has accompanied me through my solitudes....lonely times when you are surrounded with people yet you are alone. It gives reason to face challenges. At times when people mistake you for DAY-DREAMER, it strikes like thunderous lightening and you try to justify yourself...... But why? Don't you feel like laughing at their face at that time? Yup, I won't deny its rude but aren't they being rude....laughing at your face challenging something that you think you deserve? Least you need at that time losing hope because you fail to realize that its an opportunity to strengthen yourself and your confidence. Why?..... We dream of something only when we realize we have that storming capacity to swap it in our palms in a zapp!!! We dream because somewhere down under we know its atleast something that we can make true... Ask your self atleast once...........and you will realize the only thing that you came make alive .... living is your dreams. For me, 'Dream' is something that makes my life worth living because it gives me a good reason to live.... to live with pride and confidence. For you it may be different.......but remember your answer too is in some of the simplest words in the dictionary. I really don't know who wrote the dialogues of 'VIRUDDH', a bollywood movie starring Amitab Bachhan and John Abraham....... but I really want to salute the guy for his dialogue "Life isn't extraordinary.........its challenges that are...." We always have a proper reason to live.... just we need to realize it........................................ Lets live life not just for the sake of living, but for the sake of the dreams and hopes that make us realize our true capabilities and live with pride because LIFE itself is a once in a LIFE-TIME opportunity......... why waste it? Think once ... because you have plenty of good reasons for accepting the challenges for living rather then quitting with destroying excuses.... THE CHOICE IS YOURS!