The Curse

I smile, and it burns my next moment
the smokes inject tears in my eyes
I wonder how did it catch fire,
was it the curse or the moment's prize?

The curse they say was born with me
As a friend that lives by my side
It shows me how to dream in the day
And burns me alive by the night

I wonder as I see my life
through rear glass rolling down the years
I had everything you would call a boon
But it was traded with salty tears

I was no orphan and had a house
And smiling pictures on its wall
Showing you a perfect family
Hanging everywhere in my hall

I was fed well and kept tip-topped
For I was a jewel in their eyes
Or, was it all some hallucination
Beliefs milked from murdering lies

But I guess, its all -- the curse
Getting stronger each passing day
Sucking every blood that keeps me alive
Killing my soul as helpless as I lay

I am homeless with roof in my head
And a lonely soul amidst the crowd
Every faces are the ones I know
Just love has fallen in the drought

I have blindfold in my eyes
But I can see the road that I have left
And I scream for some helping hands
But the ears I know have turned strange and deaf

I puff and pant as I burn
the curse in its full fledged strength
Neither it kills me nor leaves me alone
A slow poison works in longer length

The curse is what I wear as my crown
As I stand to testify my crime
The verdict ofcourse is never for me
For my own call me a detestful shame

I look at the curse now so proud,
Happy to do what it does the best
Will it ever leave me alone or hand on to me
if I go for the eternal rest?