The clot of wound!

It laid, just above the scratch
A darkened film covering naked flesh
Red and sore from the friction with soil
And a desperate try to cover up the mess

"It hurts" was all flesh could say
Crying the tears so so so red
Pulse was speaking high and fast
And warmth spread underneath

But the clot hardened and stayed there
Unknown of its coming fate
The day it healed with pinky flesh
It would then be scratched away

Or better it will go on its own
Even before you think to peel
Coming back when you trip again
Hardening itself to let you heal

I wish I was an open book

Sometimes there r no thoughts to fill the lines 
Sometimes, just thoughts but pen refuses to move
Some lines are dedicated to someone who never reads
And some lines simply go misunderstood

I wish I was an open book
And there I was in your hand
So that you will read me sometimes
And then you will understand

Would you turn the pages
And read them till the end?
Or close it after some pages
And put it up for the rent?

I wish I knew these lines
Before I fill them with my doubts
Or will you answer them with your hugs
Letting emotions speak out loud??? 

Wen its my courtyard that has snow

I was buried and I asked for hand
You said wait i will warm mine n lend
I was frozen, but yes I waited
But the helping hand was never sent

You wont be expected
No por favors now
Y bother u to clean up my pathway
Wen its my courtyard that has snow

The blindness

New day u promised, but same old darkness
Same capsules of truth, same bitter-sour taste
I wonder if it was me or it was my heart all the same
To trust that I would see the light in my blindness

No lights,  I know, the bulbs mock at me
Televisions they sneer
And radios laugh at what they see
A cracked bowl of hope, that is bound to leak

I tried to weave dreams, when you described me the lights
When you moved some feathers and flew some kites
Yeah, but now in this pitch dark I stare at vacuum
And try rubbing out the blindness, the pitch black doom

And now I lay, in same old corner
With same old stick near that smelly burner
Yet I am like a shadow beneath it,
It lights the room, but never do we meet

But who are you? The burner or the stick
Burner I guess, because it is not me that you miss
You search for the dancer, who would dance with your flames
And meet with your rhythms, play in your games

I would settle for the stick, you can now cease to light
Either way you may burn, with all your might
The darkness would cover me as quilt
With many pains and some guilts

So leave now me to this blindness
Leave and go join her in her dance
I will lay and try to sing along
Though it may be my swan song!!

The jigsaw

The pieces I join, no not of the jigsaw
Some big chunks, some tit bits here and there
I search each of them, for making a bigger picture
What are they I wonder, so badly torn to bits
With shredded and scratched parts
So badly beaten and torn apart

Some places I could feel the pulses
Some places had been smeared with tears
What could have gone so bad for these bits
To be so badly hurt and in pain
As if it was speaking my heart
And reflecting my inner self

Then, when I was mid way to joining
I realised what it was
Then I knew why it reflected me
My pain and wound so beautifully
I was joining together my own heart, torn in 1000 pieces
And trying to sew it together without knowing how badly torn I was!!!!

Poetic journal- a camouflage of emotions

Poems are in fact, the camouflage to feelings, where you can hide behind the rhymes and symbols, creating maze of words and entertaining yourself as well as the one who reads in puzzles of wordy illustrations. This is what I usually do, I write and hide behind it. It is more easier to express when it is not obvious, when you do not have to utter exactly the words that you want to communicate and yet you can get the message conveyed. 

But then, they are even symbol of confusion, depicting your nervousness and anxiety, your happiness and when you find it hard to believe it is happening. It is just like invisibility cloak of Harry Potter- smooth, silky and of exclusive quality and so intelligently woven that you can completely hide yourself yet be there. It is, in short, escape route, a vent to your raging emotions- good or bad. 

I have noticed myself, instead of filling pages of diaries that I previously did, I rather opted for rhyming my thought and coordinating my emotions with the words I typed, in short and abstract sentences shapes bluntly filling the lines of this blog. I wrote when I was heart broken or extremely happy, when I dreamed and when I thought I was falling short of one. It was sometimes very dark and blue and sometimes as vibrant and jovial to my readers, but for me it was the colour of shades that I wore in my heart and bore in my mind that very moment. Some poems are infact kiddish, some too abstract but each and every one of them are like daily journals of my life. 

I tried to keep them simple yet I filled them with symbols, you can imagine snowy day but it would be hard to depict the chill running through my thoughts when I scribbled every words. It is not just about me I write, I write about every freaking stupid stuff that moves me, makes me pensive or insure a giggle out of my throat. The words I write are my vision, my emotions are my sight and things I write- the final ones are my painting. I am yet to be Picasso, no I am not even near by him but I never wanted to be him. All I wanted was to share- either by poems or by scribbling of thoughts, writing the dimensions of complexities that I tangle myself with every day and I wish to continue it, forever. 

Leaving home!

I shall leave with memories behind
No footprints so that you can look
My images will then rush in your heart
But be never printed in any book

I am leaving a place called home
Not for it was warm with a roof
But for few hearts that brought me back
When I was running wild and aloof

Not that I am not glad to leave
Some shadows and some lurking souls
But more than that I am sad to lose
Few hands that I willingly hold

These strings that pull my heart
These feelings that move some tears
May be I made more friends than I thought
And more of those loving dears!!

As I pack my suitcase and tie my lace
I turn back to see what I left
But before you make me promise
I won't try paying back your debt!

The Mechanic!

Beer's perfume and lotion of grease

Not a candy boy you see on ramp
Smoking all night, changing wheels

His nights are day and has the sun for lamp!

He plays with spanner and chews a screw

Picking his teeth with copper wire
Pulls up those masts and mends the ship

His love, the only thing he ever admired

He is ruthless and sings loathing songs

As he changes the engine's comatose fate

Sleeps in its laps and sings lullaby

As if it were his some fancy date!

He is no maker and rather mends the things

And takes pride at his blue collar
He defies to rise and keeps his tag

Puffing tobacco wrapped in that new green dollar!

Mr. I-Won't-Never

Mr. I-Won't-Never had a wall 

E-Ya E-Ya O

But he never added friend over there

E-Ya E-Ya O

And he never ever took his call

E-Ya E-Ya O

Though he had two numbers shared to all

E-Ya E-Ya O

Mis call here, miss call there...

Miscall miscall everrrrrrrywhere

Mr. I-Won't-Never loved Heineken Beer
E-Ya E-Ya O
And roasted chicken he never shared
E-Ya E-Ya O
Mosquito coil was all that he cared
E-Ya E-Ya O
And his anger was all that he cheered
E-Ya E-Ya O
Angry here Angry there
Blindly angry everywhere

Mr I-Won't-Never held record changing wheel
E-Ya E-Ya O
But he never paid his cable's bill
E-Ya E-Ya O
He felt so much of BIG DEAL
E-Ya E-Ya O
And takes more than a week to chill
E-Ya E-Ya O
Shouting here, shouting there
Screaming in my scared two ears!

I choose to be poor!

Silver was for spoon

Bed made of gold

I had everything you would wish for

More than a king could hold

Ferrari was my mower 

Bentley to take me school

Yet I chose for my ten toes

Though you would call me a fool!!!

Dollars no longer tore my shirt

Nor did cheques burden me
Street vendors dazzled me more than malls

And I fell out of love with the Lee

It liberated my soul, I guess

For I loved the frost, wind and scorching sun

Ways of poor lured me out

And made me take this wilder run

I now, Dear Dad, would live this life

You can keep the green stack for our own

'Coz this is how I want to look at the sky

Exploring more than you have ever shown

For this makes me what I want to be

A fisherman rejoicing in his fiery shore

I dot to swim till I get to sea

though born rich, I thus choose to be poor

I want to find my own little stream

Through which I shall boat to the shore

I want to turn the page and earn every dime

I was born rich but I now choose to be poor

Soul contract!

Can I trade in crossroad, I ponder
My soul for you to live
Will you miss me, I  then wonder
For truest of love, I always give

Or shall you go to the rosy dames
Who lost your heart many times
And some of them who dug your pockets
Till they tricked you out of every dime!

Leggy babes and lashing tongues
Smoking fire as they burn
Shall give you company as you pick
Queuing up for their heavenly turn

You will be pleased, I am sure
But will you ever miss these lousy lips
That ever spoke out is you name
When they were lost in passionate kiss

I don't know if you will know these eyes
When they shall pass in crowded street
Or shall you give me a vacant stare
Ignoring there's more than eyes can meet?

I wonder my love, all this time
As I sign my soul for your breath
You shall live and fall in love again
When I shall succumb to the death




Still when you trade heart for love again
Will you ever dream of my freckled face
With teary eyes and longing smile
Calling you for the last embrace?

The colours

Bright blue yellow pink
Melt down in my sink 
And they I realise
So colourful otherwise

Giggles, smiles and chirpy laugh
But why my heart does it half
I wonder all the time
All that couldnt be mine

Through the colour
And the Rainbows
Through the chords
Or voices of the strings

Through the veins
when Message pass
You are happy
More than you could ask

Look on, check out
In spam or trashed out
Where are they
The lil texts they would sayyyyy..

Smileeeeee on...and this shall pass
Hold one and you will make
Don't give up but can I know
What you said bout walk on cake??

I wonderrrrrrr, the colours
As they dance awayyyy
Could it be, the colours that
Neverrrrr came my way!!!

Wings of fire!

The wings of fire
They are burning me alive
And am flying as I die
Somewhere in the sky
Looking on to you as I say good bye!


The wings of fire
They are burning me alive
Amidst the stars as I lie
Somewhere in the galaxy, up in the sky
Waving at you the last good bye!!!

The wings of fire
They turned me to ashes
As tears fall wetting my lashes
When my past flashes
And emotion with reasoning clashes

The wings of fire
Shall free me when am gone
reaching out to the burning sun
As I end my farewell song
It shall not take any long!!!!

The wings of fire
Are burning me alive
As I wave you good bye
To join the stars who never die
To galaxies who are always mine

They are burning me alive
They are burning till I die!!

My Chords (the rockstar in me)

With a broken guitar, I shall have a chord in my name
Will name it S major or minor, but sing it the same
The crowd then shall join, singing with the tune
A phoenix then shall rise again, from its burning doom

They will not air in your radio or in your juke
Nor will narrate story that you love to look
But it shall stream through my veins and my breath    
Spreading in the frequencies, until I meet the death

Like I am-- an outlaw, so will be my chord
The one made to cheer my heart when it was blue and bored
The music, alas has no rule that you have set
As for you, it no longer sings if limits are not met

But my song, my friend, plays happily for all
For one with the rules or an outcast, one big or small
It reaches for hearts and pulls their strings
One that airs in every lips and thats how it shall stream

For, I shall be the rockstar, my songs with tunes of beat
That rhythms with dub-lub as arteries do leap
One that would be with no rules to bind
One that shall not be measured in scales of mind

For, my chords would be free to spread their wings
Flying through the rainbows and colouring the dreams
Thats how my friend, shall my music sound
Streaming through the hearts and breaking every bound

That keeps me saying I love you!

If you are the moon,
I would ask- the full or the new?
As one brings hope of light and its dark
And other is bright but lives hours so few

If you say you are a rose

I would ask the bud or the bloomed?

One that may wither in some days

And other one may never bloom as assumed

So uncertain I am, don't you think?

Doubting your beauty, resisting your assurance

But all I have known this far in my life is

It's most beautiful day when it thunders and rains

I have seen strongest castle fall

To trust you would last for long

I have seen many leave and never return

To think you will stick where you belong

Yet, yet again my love, I am taking chance

To trust you me when you carry my soul

To trust you more than breaths I take

To warm me when I am dying and cold

Do not think when I shed my tears

It is my heart that is melting away

Out of uncertainty that life gives

Holding on to you as I find my way

Just keep up with me, and do not leave my hand

That's all I would ask you to do

Out of all I need is just your heart

That keeps me saying I love you!!!!!

Inner conflict!

Consciences and instincts

the one you call the sixth sense

It's raw and it rips me apart

And makes me loose that faith

I am so sure of what I feel

Yet my eyes convince me 

That I must me hallucinating all the time

And I no more trust that inner me

Then I know the lies I hear

But how can I doubt the voices

My ears are so perfectly fine

And 'm left with not good choices

The me and the I, I have

one with heart and other with brain

Are always in war with the other

And thus I appear insane

One says and other denies

And I know the Feel is not always wrong

Sometimes I sing a happier tune

But it may be part of tragic song

So, now tell me who should I trust

The one I see-touch or one I feel

But, either side I may choose

Never leaves my side is guilt!!!!

The war!

My pieces, not one but many
I was scattered every where
Splashes of tears, bullets of words
It was more bloodier than I can share!

The closest arm would cast a blow
And arrows that tongues fired
It was hell than the Devil's own
I was the Child it never sired!

I could hardly cry, or even speak
All of it was so much of shock
My lips, though smirked at times,
At my fate and it wonderful mock!

As my sculptors hammered to break me down
Each blow showed me reality's face
I ran then, to save my soul
Leaving behind their sophisticated grace

Wild was more appealing and real,
With my bareness so acceptable
I could be me as much as I wished
Everything was so natural

I just had dreamt of orchards and trees
All to grow in my wilder woods
But I am now dragged back to war
Without arms or combat boots!

I stare at sky as I head to leave
With packed bag and rolled-up bed
Now, am going back to same war zone
Sometimes living is uglier than the death!

The Curse

I smile, and it burns my next moment
the smokes inject tears in my eyes
I wonder how did it catch fire,
was it the curse or the moment's prize?

The curse they say was born with me
As a friend that lives by my side
It shows me how to dream in the day
And burns me alive by the night

I wonder as I see my life
through rear glass rolling down the years
I had everything you would call a boon
But it was traded with salty tears

I was no orphan and had a house
And smiling pictures on its wall
Showing you a perfect family
Hanging everywhere in my hall

I was fed well and kept tip-topped
For I was a jewel in their eyes
Or, was it all some hallucination
Beliefs milked from murdering lies

But I guess, its all -- the curse
Getting stronger each passing day
Sucking every blood that keeps me alive
Killing my soul as helpless as I lay

I am homeless with roof in my head
And a lonely soul amidst the crowd
Every faces are the ones I know
Just love has fallen in the drought

I have blindfold in my eyes
But I can see the road that I have left
And I scream for some helping hands
But the ears I know have turned strange and deaf

I puff and pant as I burn
the curse in its full fledged strength
Neither it kills me nor leaves me alone
A slow poison works in longer length

The curse is what I wear as my crown
As I stand to testify my crime
The verdict ofcourse is never for me
For my own call me a detestful shame

I look at the curse now so proud,
Happy to do what it does the best
Will it ever leave me alone or hand on to me
if I go for the eternal rest?

It's year of Hope....living my way!!!!!!

I am taking chance, leaping up and fly

Darkening the rainbow, so faint...so shy
Skating to the canvas, painting it all wild
'Coz, I am living through the year of Hope,
It's breathing when it was suppose to die

I am scribbling my dreams and sketching them live
'am fighting in a war, with no weapons by my side
I don't know to swim, yet am taking a dive
'Coz, I am living through the year of Hope,
I am breathing when you punished me to die


I am taking a chance, risking it all,
'am breaking your cage bungee jumping through my shawl
No, you are so wrong am' not risking any fall
Coz, I am living through the year of Hope,
And it thriving when it was suppose to die

Don't be smug, do not wish my return
I am gone, and am having all the fun
Though I may allow you to peep in for a while
Coz, I am living through the year of Hope,
It has now crawled but it was suppose to die


It's no castle in cloud, do not discourage my will
It is something I made outta my crazy dreams
I shall only stop, when time will stay still
See till it turns into what I said
A cozy home and my so warm bed
Out of my sweat, and its not the pain
Something outta love, that keeps me sane

Yes, am running and getting drunk
Breaking free, and taking that prohibited turn
Coz I live where I see the light
I do not care if it's your wrong or you approve it Right
I hold my reins, and fix the way,
I am in with time and loving it sway
It has hurdles but who does care
It is big for you as you are so 'aware'

I joke with issues and problems are my friends
We laugh at the 'other till we reach the end
And move with time, glide and skate
Raft, run or even fly dream's jet
We have HOPE and that's bright
Something good's waiting as we turn left or right
Live my friend as you wish to live
Be that gift, that you want to give

It's all in hope and lust for fun
That makes you work from dusk to dawn
And believe me you will then realise
Happiness comes to seekers not always to wise
Doing something is never burden
When you prove impossible can be done
And realise there are so many ways
To count the hours every passing day

Some count it with minutes hands,
Some with hardships and gains
But some with what you wanna do
Break free or be showpiece in a zoo
Live by looking whats in south
Or by age's anxiousness eating your youth
Or by living it a real way
Taking it by bit and never giving it away

This is how I wanna live
This is how the year shall end
If you are stopping me, you are fool to try
Nothing shall this time make me bend
'coz I have packed my bag and called the cab
Laced my boots and 'm leaving your lab
No, this year I am living my way
It's year of Hope, that never gave it away!!!!!!