That keeps me saying I love you!

If you are the moon,
I would ask- the full or the new?
As one brings hope of light and its dark
And other is bright but lives hours so few

If you say you are a rose

I would ask the bud or the bloomed?

One that may wither in some days

And other one may never bloom as assumed

So uncertain I am, don't you think?

Doubting your beauty, resisting your assurance

But all I have known this far in my life is

It's most beautiful day when it thunders and rains

I have seen strongest castle fall

To trust you would last for long

I have seen many leave and never return

To think you will stick where you belong

Yet, yet again my love, I am taking chance

To trust you me when you carry my soul

To trust you more than breaths I take

To warm me when I am dying and cold

Do not think when I shed my tears

It is my heart that is melting away

Out of uncertainty that life gives

Holding on to you as I find my way

Just keep up with me, and do not leave my hand

That's all I would ask you to do

Out of all I need is just your heart

That keeps me saying I love you!!!!!

Inner conflict!

Consciences and instincts

the one you call the sixth sense

It's raw and it rips me apart

And makes me loose that faith

I am so sure of what I feel

Yet my eyes convince me 

That I must me hallucinating all the time

And I no more trust that inner me

Then I know the lies I hear

But how can I doubt the voices

My ears are so perfectly fine

And 'm left with not good choices

The me and the I, I have

one with heart and other with brain

Are always in war with the other

And thus I appear insane

One says and other denies

And I know the Feel is not always wrong

Sometimes I sing a happier tune

But it may be part of tragic song

So, now tell me who should I trust

The one I see-touch or one I feel

But, either side I may choose

Never leaves my side is guilt!!!!

The war!

My pieces, not one but many
I was scattered every where
Splashes of tears, bullets of words
It was more bloodier than I can share!

The closest arm would cast a blow
And arrows that tongues fired
It was hell than the Devil's own
I was the Child it never sired!

I could hardly cry, or even speak
All of it was so much of shock
My lips, though smirked at times,
At my fate and it wonderful mock!

As my sculptors hammered to break me down
Each blow showed me reality's face
I ran then, to save my soul
Leaving behind their sophisticated grace

Wild was more appealing and real,
With my bareness so acceptable
I could be me as much as I wished
Everything was so natural

I just had dreamt of orchards and trees
All to grow in my wilder woods
But I am now dragged back to war
Without arms or combat boots!

I stare at sky as I head to leave
With packed bag and rolled-up bed
Now, am going back to same war zone
Sometimes living is uglier than the death!

The Curse

I smile, and it burns my next moment
the smokes inject tears in my eyes
I wonder how did it catch fire,
was it the curse or the moment's prize?

The curse they say was born with me
As a friend that lives by my side
It shows me how to dream in the day
And burns me alive by the night

I wonder as I see my life
through rear glass rolling down the years
I had everything you would call a boon
But it was traded with salty tears

I was no orphan and had a house
And smiling pictures on its wall
Showing you a perfect family
Hanging everywhere in my hall

I was fed well and kept tip-topped
For I was a jewel in their eyes
Or, was it all some hallucination
Beliefs milked from murdering lies

But I guess, its all -- the curse
Getting stronger each passing day
Sucking every blood that keeps me alive
Killing my soul as helpless as I lay

I am homeless with roof in my head
And a lonely soul amidst the crowd
Every faces are the ones I know
Just love has fallen in the drought

I have blindfold in my eyes
But I can see the road that I have left
And I scream for some helping hands
But the ears I know have turned strange and deaf

I puff and pant as I burn
the curse in its full fledged strength
Neither it kills me nor leaves me alone
A slow poison works in longer length

The curse is what I wear as my crown
As I stand to testify my crime
The verdict ofcourse is never for me
For my own call me a detestful shame

I look at the curse now so proud,
Happy to do what it does the best
Will it ever leave me alone or hand on to me
if I go for the eternal rest?

It's year of Hope....living my way!!!!!!

I am taking chance, leaping up and fly

Darkening the rainbow, so faint...so shy
Skating to the canvas, painting it all wild
'Coz, I am living through the year of Hope,
It's breathing when it was suppose to die

I am scribbling my dreams and sketching them live
'am fighting in a war, with no weapons by my side
I don't know to swim, yet am taking a dive
'Coz, I am living through the year of Hope,
I am breathing when you punished me to die


I am taking a chance, risking it all,
'am breaking your cage bungee jumping through my shawl
No, you are so wrong am' not risking any fall
Coz, I am living through the year of Hope,
And it thriving when it was suppose to die

Don't be smug, do not wish my return
I am gone, and am having all the fun
Though I may allow you to peep in for a while
Coz, I am living through the year of Hope,
It has now crawled but it was suppose to die


It's no castle in cloud, do not discourage my will
It is something I made outta my crazy dreams
I shall only stop, when time will stay still
See till it turns into what I said
A cozy home and my so warm bed
Out of my sweat, and its not the pain
Something outta love, that keeps me sane

Yes, am running and getting drunk
Breaking free, and taking that prohibited turn
Coz I live where I see the light
I do not care if it's your wrong or you approve it Right
I hold my reins, and fix the way,
I am in with time and loving it sway
It has hurdles but who does care
It is big for you as you are so 'aware'

I joke with issues and problems are my friends
We laugh at the 'other till we reach the end
And move with time, glide and skate
Raft, run or even fly dream's jet
We have HOPE and that's bright
Something good's waiting as we turn left or right
Live my friend as you wish to live
Be that gift, that you want to give

It's all in hope and lust for fun
That makes you work from dusk to dawn
And believe me you will then realise
Happiness comes to seekers not always to wise
Doing something is never burden
When you prove impossible can be done
And realise there are so many ways
To count the hours every passing day

Some count it with minutes hands,
Some with hardships and gains
But some with what you wanna do
Break free or be showpiece in a zoo
Live by looking whats in south
Or by age's anxiousness eating your youth
Or by living it a real way
Taking it by bit and never giving it away

This is how I wanna live
This is how the year shall end
If you are stopping me, you are fool to try
Nothing shall this time make me bend
'coz I have packed my bag and called the cab
Laced my boots and 'm leaving your lab
No, this year I am living my way
It's year of Hope, that never gave it away!!!!!!

Let me find the way

Questions get answered
And yet you get lost
Hippies turn more rational
A life worth living

Voices get lost in throat
Yet there is shrilling scream in your head
You don't know which way to go
And with directions you are lost

You have crowd hanging about
And you are alone
There is nothing charming in malls
And you go for dark cloud with flickering stars

Cold nights appear warmer
Alien beds seem cosy
You detest the thing you call home
And all who claim you yours

You look around
May be a hug will do
Or a greeting smile from strangers
They make your day

But the claims of belongings
The right of suggestions
The known and understood faces
More hostile, more strangers

May be lost within the known crowd
Rebelling against peace and harmony
Ripple against the calm lake
And hail in midsummer day

They make you adult
Losing yourself is yes what it is about
Losing yourself from them to be found out by you
Known and more understood than you do today

If so, let the ripples be created
Let me get lost in the crowd
But this time keep your map with yourself
Let me find the way!!!

Wishing for your cloak

I wish could steal your cloak
Divine and royal as it seems
Does it really make me disappear
For me to go for hiding?

I shall then hang around for a while,
Unknown to any single soul
And catch you before you deny
Whenever you play so fowl!


I shall then hardly ever appear
Because I am set to escape
All that pains and wound I bear
More than I can scream for help


Then I shall run way so far
Moorlands and woods left unexplored
Finding somewhere, someone
Who makes me feel I too am adored

My eyes moisten as I write this words
Wishing for your cloak so divine
Will it help me find an escape route
And tell me its gonna be fine!

Horse who lost the war!

I am a horse black or white
Weak and hurt down the knees
Laying in the dark stable
Waiting for my release

I have hardly seen any sun,
Since the time I was a colt
Other than those peeping rays
Dancing through those crack and hole

You reined me since I was of month
Thinking you could use that cart
But I was meant for wilderness
Now a horse who lost the war

I dreamed of breaking those reins
Growing wings of my own
Whatever colour may they be
But to fly till any wings have flown

I once or twice flapped those wings
Eager to see those green woodlands
And had jumped and flied few times at least
Before you slaughtered them with your hands

I have quit to dream anymore
No more I hope to grow my wings
Realising I am meant to pull those wheels
And to live as a lonely being

You love to drag me all muddy way
I pull your 'tuk-tuk' with all my might
And I have dreamed of running race!!!!
Now you have restricted my sight

Hurt and tired here I lay
Ending another day of slaughted dreams
Hope the rays dance all the same
When tonignt old moon smiles and beams

The surrender!

I screamed all night
Infact, nights to be exact
I called every name I knew....
Frantically whispered to the sky
Yet no hand came to pull me out,
No one to clear away my doubt....
This assured me I will die...
Death not so glorified!!!!

It is no fun to hang on...
on little twig so fragile,
and yet to realise its only thing
That your doomed life depends
Amid of so many logs so strong
just a rotten straw to save your life
And in chilling water as you fight,
 Searching in black hole for some light

You know nothing worked and no one came
It was hard now to hold those muffled cries
They burst with such an agony
Breaking clouds into darting tears
And I remembered how you had swam away
That pulled me down from gut
The urge to save myself started dying out
The voice of giving up getting loud

Then I released throttling the little twig
letting him to breathe in long time
The whirlpool of water swept and swirled me around
As if singing me some lullaby
Soothing the wounds and wrapping me in its arms
Whispering as if promising me heal my pain
I raised my arms and surrendered once for all
To my now true friend- death- realising my final call!!!!

Message to unknown heart-- Just glad that we were lost!!!!

We shall raft in untested, unknown waters,

White and rushing with piercing  current

And roofless nights at the riverside

Just outside our clumsy tent

With rocks and water doing jazz

So perfect is the music of silence

And then I would know you are the one

By the way our both hearts do dance

Oh!!! We shall bunjee jump off that bridge

Staring in eyes, till we feel the jolt

The screams will be silenced by the words of eyes

And you would know love just striked with bolt

Did I mention hikes in lone mountains?

With wilderness to accompany lonely us

Pushing and pulling through those unknown trails

Just happy to be with each other, just happy to be lost

And those long cross country bike rides

Buzzing through green fields and shimmering towns

With screaming of the Harleys, or shall it be one???

Tanned till we turn red and brown

The homeless days with bikes as shelter

Nothing to lose or gain than each other's arms

Then I would sing "Yes this is love baby,"

and you shall accompany me in my dance

The song shall burst from within

The song for just two of us

We shall then return, earning each other

Just happy to be with each other, just glad that we were lost!!!!