If I am to smile.........

U seldom speak out your heart or let me see it inside out

And I hardly ask..... just guessing random things sumtimes spring .... sumtimes ghastly draught

I try to see beyond the imperfect walls that u have put urself in....

And how hard I try, all i see is the perfect shape of ur beautiful heart

I havent known u for long...jus few hours of day and many unslept hours of nights

But see yourself once the way i see.....ur are beyound any such miraculous sights!!!

After long waited days and work your hinted emotions put me in...

Lemme tell u one more time.... Dear u r really worth many world engaging fights!!!!

I am stunned at times......how I let myself so unguarded with you

maybe 'coz I feel u know me at times more than I myself do....

I had let u touch the beating heart hidden all this years in the cages of bones...

that I have till now saved from all the sparkling hunters who eyed it as they flew....

All I need is to know if your are a mirage... closer I move...more it fades

Or one to shatter all the hopes... sumone in disguise of mighty Hades....

Still, here is my heart ....at your dispose defying all my rationality

Now its your turn... either prove my trust or else you can have it staked!!!!

It will either for me be too much to rejoice or too much of pain...

But either way I will know if forever I am to smile from heart or smile in pain...

Her Choice............

"Save my soul" , with her full might she screamed

under the pile of freshly fallen concrete...

with mountains of dust rising at large

and gigantic water soaring, and spreading far
"Leave ur soul and lend me thy hand,

I can do only save one at this time...

Its either you or child u hold....

Leave the child...its ur life for u matters more"

This is what the mighty lord of death told...

tempting to save her n laden her with all world's gold

She despised and gave no thought to it...

all mattered more now was life of her kid....

Breaths were heavy and time was short

Two lives hanging just one chance but

tears mingled as she planted departing kiss...

"U see world my child...it will set my heart at bliss"

"Thy soul for whom my tender heart dances...

thy for whom I gladly abandon all my life and such chances....

Save my child .... my soul" , again she screamed

Collapsing forever and saving him!!!

Death stood speechless, saving the child

Never did he imagine this even in the wild

She died saving the child she bore....

No big angry sea or vast land stood as gigantic anymore

Tears even mingled down death's lifeless face

He lost the winning war at unexpected pace

He lost it despite winning it all

Child saved by her gave him greatest fall

He resurrected the lady and handed her the kid

he could have never taken her soul in this bid

'cause even when she died her child survived

her soul would remain in him forever revived

Risen again, she held her tiny one

now even sky smiled with her as it dawned

At last even the mighty ones surrendered to her

as no1 could stand against mom n her love for child she bore!!!!!

America As You Fall

(Note: see the first letter at the beginning of each paragraph… when combined they spell the title – AMERICA AS YOU FALL)

An old man sitting by the tree

With spirit so ancient yet so free

Sings the song of the mighty fall

For the world to learn from story of thee

Mouth-organ humming all his words,

Hunting with his musical swords

He sings ballad of you, the fallen titan

And your failed quest to win the world

Enraged and pompous as you stand

Holding knife hidden in your hand

He sees it all and knows, my dear friend

What you seek by torching the greatest sand (Oil politics in ongoing gulf civil war)

Raven gaze as you hold

On the lands of oils and that of gold

Sacrificing your goats for your sake

From your own weapons that you sold (Weapon deals of US and it charge against

Gulf leaders once considered close to US)

Ice of your heart never melts

Despite dozen shoes thrown at your face

Yet you claim yourself the mighty one

Can’t you see over are your days? (world- wide criticism of USA and shoes thrown at

mighty personality of the states)

Constellation of tusk and red sea of stars

Rise strong for the mighty war

And all you pay for oil is blood,

Leaving half the world with incurable scars? (reference to India and China as emerging

nations)

As you descend down the stairs

Can’t you see how you fall in despair?

Now taste your own poison for love

That all the world for you now bears

All your foes on whom you stepped

Your entire friends burdened by your debt

Together will now pay back your coin

Laden with tears those widows have wept

So sad, you didn’t spare your own

Made stairs for yourself from own child’s bone!

And still they pay for what you do

It’s time to dawn, and your nights would be gone (tax burden for US citizens due to war and

descending economy)

Your weapons as now charge at you

Like frosty morning with poisonous dew

Eating your plants and hands that sowed

Your foes outnumber your friends so few (terrorism, as started by US against Soviet

Union)

Only dust remains in your chest

With emerging tycoons beating your best

See how the old man sings your folly

Hold back the rage now take a rest (crumbling US economy and its debt with other

countries)

Umbrella of yours is tearing up

Exposing you to hail and soaking up

Old man told you then, and with time he pays

You axed yourself and fell from the top

Folly is bad, so is greed you hold

Treacherous your ways killed men so bold

Yet you now lose to your own puppets

Devils you raised now eat your gold (Al-Qaeda was initiated by US against Soviet Union

has wedged war against itself)

All the world laughs at your face

As old man sings with binding grace

Your saga, where you are the Othello

Hero so mighty, yet falling in his own mess!

“Love thy enemy”, is all he taught

For justice and for love that he fought

Smirks at you as passing by

As you turn from so green to pale and drought (land of Dreams to country failing with

unemployment)

‘Last, the old man plays his flute

Singing the song of a heavy loot

Where the robber gets all the riches

Just to die tripping over his golden boot!!!!

Weather of your mood

Battering window panes and misty cloud
With squeaking thunder simply loud
Is the weather that u hold
Of the day when your heart is not so bold

Icy breeze and snarling wind
Roaring big and whirling round
Is the weather at your ground
As if thousand thunders striking around

Pleasant sun smiling at the sky
Cloud with dancing rainbow just passing-by
The way your heart shines on the day
When you are really very happy and gay!!
*note-gay here means happy!

.............just in Vain

Birds off the South in the freezing shivering winter’s cold
Yet warmth of melting North never can forever hold
Stretching wings and spreading wide away it goes
But could never reach beyond the burning ball of gold

A hand can never hide beating heart with rods of bone
‘cause a sided love never is damned with just pains alone
But is accompanied by ever pinching truth of life
Is with blinds to see the floods of feelings eyes have shown

After nights of hopes and that of eyes flooding its drain
Of searching for a touch of love from heart than frm scheming brain
I scratched for hours in vacuum, in the NO MEN’S LAND
….the hand with elixir for my heart to free me from this eternal pain

I wandered for ages just in vain
I searched for ages just in vain

Life a LIFE-TIME opportunity

Simple words usually make sense..........it really does...to me atleast!!!! May be it haven't worked that way for you but it is working on me, that too beautifully. Dream has been something that has accompanied me through my solitudes....lonely times when you are surrounded with people yet you are alone. It gives reason to face challenges. At times when people mistake you for DAY-DREAMER, it strikes like thunderous lightening and you try to justify yourself...... But why? Don't you feel like laughing at their face at that time? Yup, I won't deny its rude but aren't they being rude....laughing at your face challenging something that you think you deserve? Least you need at that time losing hope because you fail to realize that its an opportunity to strengthen yourself and your confidence. Why?..... We dream of something only when we realize we have that storming capacity to swap it in our palms in a zapp!!! We dream because somewhere down under we know its atleast something that we can make true... Ask your self atleast once...........and you will realize the only thing that you came make alive .... living is your dreams. For me, 'Dream' is something that makes my life worth living because it gives me a good reason to live.... to live with pride and confidence. For you it may be different.......but remember your answer too is in some of the simplest words in the dictionary. I really don't know who wrote the dialogues of 'VIRUDDH', a bollywood movie starring Amitab Bachhan and John Abraham....... but I really want to salute the guy for his dialogue "Life isn't extraordinary.........its challenges that are...." We always have a proper reason to live.... just we need to realize it........................................ Lets live life not just for the sake of living, but for the sake of the dreams and hopes that make us realize our true capabilities and live with pride because LIFE itself is a once in a LIFE-TIME opportunity......... why waste it? Think once ... because you have plenty of good reasons for accepting the challenges for living rather then quitting with destroying excuses.... THE CHOICE IS YOURS!

Hello world

Its only Individuality that separates a human from the other and nothing else, then why do people saturate themselves within narrow borders....of race, cast, religion....etc...and separate themselves....????? World wants similarity to be highlighted than dissimilarities.....and wants all working together, building our differences as bridge between us, not the barrier, to make this world a better place to live as for all as human beings...as the only caste and race and humanity as a common religion

LIFE AND DEATH IN THE TIME OF “CIVIL” WAR

Her eyes were begging everyone to say it was all a joke and thereby relieve her. A faint hope was still in her eyes, and the sorrows in them could melt platinum.
“Aamaa, it can’t be true. He said he is coming back soon.”, She said. But her voice was hardly audible in the noise.
“They’re all pulling practical jokes on us. They think we’re fools. He can never leave me. He still hasn’t seen this newborn son of his. He said he was going to make it for our son’s nwaraan , she added in her faint shivering voice filled with the hopes that the others would support her in her present post-natal period and assure that everything was alright.
Quite a few women from the neighborhood had already gathered around her and continuously gossiping.
“Poor Radha, she just had a son, just a week old baby, and she looks lost for her husband today. “ One of them whispered and the rest of them helped her to continue their favorite pastime, gossiping sadistically. “Tch-tch-tch…………, what a poor fate!”
No one was there to hold Radha and help her to be strong enough to face her fate. All they did was shower sympathy on her, making her weaker with their every single word. Their condolences were making her feel that she was a weak, poor, uneducated and helpless women left alone and doomed to face this cruel world with the responsibilities of her son and in-laws in her weak shoulders. She was sinking deeper and deeper into grief but her heart still didn’t believe what had actually happened to seal her fate.
“Let them wait for a few hours. They’ll be shocked to see him coming, smiling and entering the house. I am not going to talk to home for a week for playing such a joke……” She was murmuring under her breath and praying for her belief to be true.
“He is too young to die, do you all hear me? God can’t be this cruel. If someone has to die, let it be me. Aamaa would look after my son. But how can his place be substituted by me in terms of responsibilities? How can I look after them all? God, take me with you but spare my husband. Let all this be a joke, just a nightmare……….”
Radha suddenly broke into frantic cries. But there were no shoulder for her to lean on and weep until everything would be alright.
Chandri, her mother in law had not spoken to anyone since the news arrived. She was sitting by the window, remembering the days of her son’s childhood, his youth, his wedding, She was trying to treasure all those moments she had spent with him so that she may live with them safely treasured inside her, her son’s first home. Her eyes were unable to shed tears.
“A mother smiles in her near-death experience during delivery because she knows her creation is coming alive. Bit my creation now is dead, lifeless. How can I bear this? How can I see my baby lying lifeless in front of my eyes? What I am going to say to his son? What will happen to my daughter-in-law? How can I see her in plain white mourning cloths when I am still in my colorful saris? God how can you be this cruel? Why me……why……..?”
She took her infant grandson from his cradle and looked for her son’s traces in him. After a while, she could no longer look at him. He reminded her of her son.
The baby was crying now, perhaps terrified by the noises going around him, or in need of his mother’s milk.
“ Babu, please don’t cry. Now you are the only treasure of this family, our only son’s last token of love. You should be very strong to face this world. Who knows what is there in store for you. Let your mother be alone for a while. She needs to be by herself, she won’t be able to handle you for a while………she………..”
Chandri was unable to continue and broke into sobs fondly yet sadly cuddling her grandson in her arms.
A long siren of shankha was heard at a distance. This meant the remains of the dead man were brought home.
The body was covered in blood. There were marks of bullet wounds at places. It was obvious that he was severely beaten and then shot dead.
His father, Ram Bahadur, was too shocked to react at any thing. But he didn’t shed a single drop of tear.
He thought, “After all, I am a man. I should now support my grief-stricken wife and my daughter-in-law and raise my grandson. I should tie my heart tightly and fight back my tears.”
Fluttering his eyelids to fight back his tears, he prepared himself to face his son’s dead body and receive it for the final rites.
“Bichara Ram Dai, what a day for him! He has to attend his son’s funerals at this time of his life……………”
This was how people around him were expressing their ostensible sympathy for him and his bereaved family.
Radha, after seeing he husband, was too shocked to react. She clung to her head and screamed until she could no longer do so. She plunged her head into his cold bosom and wept until tears ran out and her eyes could no longer bear the pain.
They wiped her sindoor and smashed her bangles, tore off her colorful furiya and clothed her in plain white cotton. Today onwards this was her fate, her identity, her life until she, too, would be lifeless like him, which was still a long way to go.
She strained her eyes to see them taking away until she could no longer see any thing due to the tears falling through her eyes. She ten turned to her son who was fast asleep in his cradle and decided to go away from this place, this land where her husband was killed just because he was not one of them. He was one of those they had ambushed, looted and then killed when traveling on the highway to their village to their families. He was a victim of this slow poison called “civil war”, spreading like an epidemic in this land
She decided to go to a land where all were humans by heart, where all were one big family. It ought to be on this earth, just as Ravindra Nath Takhur had described in one of his poems:
Where the world hasn’t been broken up
Into fragments of narrow domestic walls…….